A Curious Case Of Mistaken Identity

October 07, 2010 | | Comments 0


One of my favorite Songs of Loss and Sorrow from way back in those  hurtin’ days (and one which may still put in a compelling appearance when that “lovin’feelin’ “  button gets pressed) goes, in part, like this:

Someone left the cake out in the rain

And I don’t think that I can take it

Because it took so long to bake it

And I’ll  never have the recipe again.

You know that feeling, right?

It  turns out that today, here and now, this old tune has taken on new meaning, thanks to the way all things move on perpetually. The “cake” that I  baked and iced repeatedly, used to  symbolize my special romantic relationships; their repeated dissolution in the rain of conflicted emotions after breaking up always left me  limping for weeks, even months, slogging through that bottomless falling in all Endings.

 The good news from it all is, after many years of  nearly drowning in that pool of tears, I gave up treading water  and sank; the bottom was actually touched, at first with tippy toes, then finally, firmly, with the fierce grace  harder than a CIA  waterboarding, “I” drowned.

All thought fell silent. The mind – wheel ground to a  halt. And, to borrow from the 13th century mystic Meister Eckhart, “ “That  in you where distinction never gazed” surfaced. The Self was revealed, the lost was found, and not to put too much of a testimonial spin on it, all my identity went missing!  Well, almost all, but I don’t want to  go on with this Lamentation Story, so lets talk post – drowning for a moment.

This Silence we speak of here is what you and I  are in truth.  This Silence surfaces in the space formerly occupied by all our “beliefs ”, including what we think is “self” and the “sacred and divine”. We find our Alpha non- self, our Omega  non-identity. That  Center is beyond all description, hence the Biblical phrase: “ The

son of God has no place to rest his head.” That being said, there is a place of resting.

Within this emptiness we find complete fullness resting as, and in, awareness. Nothing more and nothing less than reality. A reality that fully includes not only the divine but also all the cakes we humans ever baked…in our minds!

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