Running In Place
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We’re always making up the little dramas of our life! This morning, I got up with a nagging concern about how all this blog thing would be received, especially by my friends- my closest critics! After all, who am I to even think about doing this kind of thing? And why am I doing it?
Well, I’ll go straight to the last question, first, with a very short answer: “I don’t know why I’m doing this.” On top of that, I haven’t an idea about the “who” bit either! So that’s my confession – my story- about what seems to be going on.
Is it true?
I see that, all my life, I’ve been moved by my mind to believe – to conceive – this “me”. And that this “me” is totally made up of the conditioning implanted by the environment I was “born” into. And this “me” is nervous about all this blog stuff! So there’s a recognition of a separate “me” with doubts and questions of its own and there’s that which recognizes this familiar character called “me”.
And that’s the way it is – that which I am sees that which I am not. ..(here I want to add…”and embraces it all.”) Ah, that’s the tricky part! Sometimes there’s this wizard of the mind that occurs (like earlier this morning) when thoughts randomly generated by mind get sticky and stick like they’re real! All that is passing now as I sit here in silent reflection on the truth
of this moment.
There’s a new moment now and now and now. And whatever happens in my mind is all my personalized story about it!
What’s actually going on big time is reality, with or without this Me commentary and all its misgivings and misunderstandings which I tune in and out of . And that’s not a bad thing – just confusing, but so what?
Who knows “why” things happen the way they seem to? Not “me”. I have no answers – or questions, for that matter, except in “my” mind.
I note now that the next piece explores more of this “mind” stuff, so I’ll give this a rest, except to add this: the hounds of the mind always bite when I feed ‘em! And they don’t wanna let go!
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